When everything is going well and you feel like you are flying you never think about those weeks when you dread getting out of bed and running feels like the worst idea you have ever had. So when they show up, they smack you in the face like treading on a rake!
I don't really know what triggered it. Well, really I do, I just don't want to admit it's my fault. You see, to keep me sane and all positive I do self hypnosis every night before bed. I know it works because, well for the past 6 months I've have been sane (ish) and my self confidence has gone through the roof. I was feeling so good last week that I missed a few nights thinking it wouldn't make a difference, I was wrong.
This week has been my toughest week for months. I've just had no motivation, no energy and no desire to do anything apart from sit in the house with my curtains closed stuffing my face with anything I can find. Finding the energy to be enthusiastic at work drained everything out of me when I got home, so my training has suffered a setback this week which has made me very grumpy!! So, back on the daily self hypnosis!
I managed to get out and run Tuesday night, but this was only because a member of my running group offered me a lift. Not turning up is easy, but finding excuses not to get a lift when I usually jump at the chance is not so easy, so I went and opted to run the shorter route, 4miles. I was so glad I went as I didn't find it as hard as I thought I would, but when I got home, my mood soon dropped and I was back to square one. The week then just got worse, and my mood got worse with it. I didn't run Thursday, and didn't get up to go to spin class Friday morning (well it is at like 6.30am!) I was going to run Saturday, but didn't....see a pattern here??
So Sunday morning came, 6 miles planned for today with running group, and I had a lift....how was I going to get out of this one?!! Then, 20 minutes before I was due to be picked up, my running friend texted to say she couldn't make it, this could be my perfect excuse, I didn't have to go, hooray!! But just as I crawled back into bed and picked up my phone to say I didn't want a lift, I remembered how hard I had worked to get this far, and had that feeling of "I'm not throwing that away!!"
So I got myself ready and went. We had the option of 3.4 or going around twice to make it 6.8. As I still felt a bit sick from Saturday's mountain of food I opted for the shorter route again, getting this far was an achievement in itself! As we set off I felt really good, and after a mile or so I noticed that I was keeping up with the others, something can't be right!! It wasn't, I had, as usual gone off too fast so I hit a nice big brick wall making the last mile especially difficult.
The sense of achievement after finishing these runs makes me realise why I put myself through it! I have such good support within the running group it reminds me that I'm not alone when I have these down weeks and rather than staying away and getting in a "grump" as I call it, I need to be getting out there. If I have learnt anything over the last few months it is that these people aren't just people that I run with a few times a week, they are my friends, and good friends,that I am proud to have.
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